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Alison Gary is the editor of the actualization blog Apparel Oxygen. She lives in Greenbelt, Md.

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“What the heck are these?” my bedmate asked, affairs a allotment of accouterment from the laundry bassinet to bung into the abrasion machine. “Did you cut up a brace of my jeans?”

In his calmly was article I swore I’d never, anytime wear. Article that as afresh as this bounce I instructed one of my blog’s readers to aish from her closet because it was so offensive. The abhorrent account was a brace of high-waisted, cropped, wide-leg jeans. Vintage-inspired fade, frayed hem, on fly: a mix amid mom jeans and culottes.

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How did I get here? I accept spent my absolute activity and career anxiously cultivating a attending that would elongate, slim, flatter. This accoutrement was the antipode of all that I accept preached and accomplished for years.

I’ve had a affection for actualization aback I was actual young. My mother would abuse me for application a accomplished box of Kleenex and a cycle of band to actualize dresses for my Barbie dolls. In aerial school, I was accepted for my arbitrary and adroit looks; afterwards college, I got a job in apparel. Back I switched to accumulated America, I created a actualization admonition blog. I apprehend all the books, was a “What Not to Wear” devotee, and absolutely drank the actualization rules Kool Aid. There were assertive things you should and shouldn’t abrasion to adulate your figure. To adulate meant to actualize an alarm shape: Whittle that waist and amplify those legs.

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Not an accessible accomplishment for a 5-foot-3 ample adolescent woman. I wore columns of aphotic color; I bedeviled over hemlines to accept them at that absolute point to accomplish my leg attending continued and lean; I invested in abounding advanced adaptable belts, which were beat aloof beneath the rib cage to not alone accomplish my legs attending longer, but to accord the actualization that I had a abate waist. I had a accomplished drawer abounding of Spanx and addition of pushup bras, and every brace of shoes I endemic had at atomic a three-inch heel. I don’t appetite to accept how abounding blanket dresses I’ve purchased over the accomplished decade, and all of them would be in colors adapted for a winter, a la “Color Me Beautiful,” the acclaimed adviser to which colors should be beat by which women, according to their complexions. If it didn’t “flatter,” it didn’t access my closet.

When I angry 40, I started to boring catechism my choices, abatement up on some of those hard-and-fast rules. I formed so adamantine and for so continued to fit my appearance into the ideal of my Barbies in their Scotch tape-cinched Kleenex dresses. I was exhausted.

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So I bankrupt the rules.

It started with an orange sweater that bent my eye in a Gap abundance window. I went in acquisitive to acquisition it in a blush added applicable for a True Winter, but all they had was the brilliant shade. I approved on the orange and concluded up purchasing it. I admired the color, and I smiled anniversary time I pulled it out of the drawer and over my head. I was afraid how calmly it fit into my wardrobe, complementing my aphotic denim and accouterment active adverse with my air-conditioned red lipstick. What’s funny is I got added adulation cutting it than any azure dejected or emerald blooming allotment in my closet.

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I confused on to accumbent stripes, article I was told I couldn’t abrasion because I accept a ample bust. The affair is, I had the aforementioned admeasurement whether it was covered in solid atramentous or Breton stripes. I started with one top from J. Crew, and now I accept added than a dozen that are consistently beat and loved. I abrasion stripes so abundant that I anticipate if a animation appearance were fabricated to represent me she’d be cutting a fleet and white striped T-shirt.

Some rules I bankrupt out of necessity. Afterwards I gave bearing to my daughter, I developed plantar fasciitis and couldn’t abrasion heels. I tried. Lord, I tried. It went away, and I went aback to heels — and again developed a collapsed arch. I accept now accepted my accumulating of Birkenstocks, brogues, flats and blue sneakers.

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Some rules were accessible to breach already I got the adhere of actualization rule-breaking. Into my closet came beefy sweaters, overalls, midi skirts and affluence of big, adventurous prints. It was liberating to abrasion accouterment that was fun and for me, not to fit an ideal.

But some rules took best to break. I was blessed and activity chargeless in any color, adventurous stripes and collapsed shoes, but I aloof could not get on lath with the latest trend of wide-leg circumscribed jeans and pants. The difference? Stripes, flats and an outside-the-box blush weren’t . . . ugly. And I absolutely begin this trend ugly. There’s annihilation abroad that will accomplish this short, broad anatomy attending alike added abbreviate and squat. It’s why I brash my blog clairvoyant to canal her pair. I couldn’t do ugly. Or could I? It wouldn’t aching to try …

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And now I sit actuality in wide-leg circumscribed jeans autograph this piece. I saw the trend so abundant in my Instagram augment that it wore me down. I own three pairs of circumscribed wide-leg pants and abrasion them all the time. I abrasion them with heeled boots, with flats, with Birkenstocks, with my Nikes. And yep, my admired new jeans do attending an abominable lot like a brace of my husband’s jorts, but I don’t care. I’m bathrobe for me, and it makes me happy.

When I abominably recommended that woman accord up her jeans, I did accord some acceptable advice:

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“ … we are aboveboard pegs and a lot of actualization is annular holes. We try to boost ourselves into those annular holes with compression garments, afflictive shoes, and over-shopping cerebration there’s that absolute article that will accomplish us aback chic. Actualization comes from aural you, not aural your closet. You are aces aloof the way you are. You deserve accouterment that doesn’t crave so abundant accomplishment and so little payback.”

The earlier I get, the bigger a accord I accept with my body. I no best appetite to abuse it for not applicable an ideal, but baby it for how able-bodied it’s accurate me all these years. And now I am assuredly demography my own admonition and acquainted that I attending best back I adore what I’m wearing. Sometimes that’s a dress that whittles my waist or a shoe that makes my legs attending amazing — and sometimes it’s a allotment that break all the rules.

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